The Waiting Game – IV

December 28, 2015 at 11:02 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

14.09.2012

The morning comes, the ray of the sun chipped into the labour room. I was looking at the sky from my bed, with a hose on my left hand, drip on my right. God, please help me in this. The progress was slowing down again. Mum, please help me.

I was in tears because I am exhausted, I do not think I could do that. Maybe I shall ask the doctor to cut me open and take my baby out! Jon holding my hand tightly and ask me to hang on. I was about to slap him, you do it!

Carlene came back with another doctor, Doctor Chris. He is on duty today. I was like, come, cut me. I put all my hope on him and he asked to do a VE. I know I am going to love him the moment I saw him. His first line while doing the VE was “Wow, it’s 8 cm dilated!”

I was like, what? You serious? Just hang in there another 2 hours, it should be fully dilate, and get ready to push the baby out! Yay!! This is what I want to hear! Of course I will wait. Jon and I were very excited! So does Carlene! Not forgetting the contraction, its getting excited too, ouch!!

Of course, the contraction won’t go away until baby is born. I was watching the clock ticks, and looking forward for another VE done. 2 hours passed, still no sign of delivery. Dr. Chris came back to check on me. He had a check on Liang’s position; apparently Liang’s head was not in the position fully. Dr. Chris suggested to “put the baby’s head back on track”. I was waiting for the next contraction and push a little for doctor to do that. Yup, it was done through VE. At that moment, I have been checked a lot of times until I feel numb with it. So I was alright, I’ll just go along with their advices. Dr. Chris told me once again, I shall be receiving Liang by lunch.

Another 2 hours have gone, the contractions were getting more intense and I have a very strong pushing down my hip. Liang wanted to come out! The feeling was like a serious constipation and menstrual pain at the same time, more intense.

Carlene checked and I am fully dilated, baby is coming! She wants me to sit up and kneel on the bed facing the wall and started to push. This is to help the birthing process as well. After a few pushing, I was directed to sit down the bed and keep pushing when contraction hits.

I keep pushing, keep pushing. Jon and Carlene were shouting beside me, “Push push push!”. Carlene shouted she saw the head! I looked down, I saw it too! Dark hair! Yes, I have a sudden energy rush in me. I keep on pushing, hold the push!!

A sudden hot flush down at my bottom, baby is out, Liang is born!! Aww, it’s a boy! But wait, Liang isn’t moving and he is vomiting mucus. Carlene urged Jon to cut the cord immediately, and Liang was brought to the nursing table for suction and cleaning. My eyes didn’t leave Liang ever since, my heart was beating very fast, I was worried, until I heard a cry from Liang. Gosh, it was so beautiful! Our baby is here with us.

After the pediatrician checked on Liang and confirmed he is fine, we got our first touch, skin-to-skin. He is so small and beautiful. I will never forget this moment, it is so magical!

Yes, I am still on the bed, waiting to give birth to my placenta. According to Carlene, it could take up to another 20~30 minutes. Just wait for another contraction, this time would be much easy, as placenta is boneless. Round about 20 minutes have passed, I felt something and called for Carlene. Yup, placenta is coming out! Thereafter, Carlene was pushing the button on the wall, she told me “it’s ok, no worries.”

A team of midwives rushed into my room and followed by Dr. Chris. He congratulates me before giving orders to the midwives. Changed drip, rubbing tummy, jab me… Yes, it hurts, but what’s wrong? Doctor asked me to keep inhaling the gas if it’s hurt. Carlene told me to keep looking at Liang. Jon has been pushed aside.

After 15 to 20 minutes, I saw 1 midwife took the sheets under me for weighting. The sheets were all red (covered in blood) and weighted about 1.2 kg. Midwife Rachel keeps rubbing my tummy, she said it helps my womb to get back to shape, though it hurts a bit. Another midwife put the drip on again, another bag of saline.

After they left, Carlene told me I was losing blood right after the birth of placenta. It usually happened for long hour labour. Don’t worry now, it’s all done and fix. Do let her know if I am feeling dizzy or something. Then, Carlene and Dr. Chris started to stitch me up. Hmm, second degree of tearing. I didn’t know how bad it was, until I saw it.

Another 45 minutes past, Carlene had a check on me and found that the drip was not connected to me but on the floor! Gees, have to do it again. Lol… Somebody was in a rush I guess. After 30 minutes, I was then transferred to the Neonatal care unit, on a wheelchair, just in case I passed out, lol…

Anyway, Liang was borned 2.5 kg and needed to monitor his blood sugar, while myself, lost of blood and need to be monitored as well.

I had a very nice dinner there, a steak! Who said hospital food sucks? At least mine was very good. I was very tired after dinner, and Jon has to go home, he cannot stay at the neonatal unit. My first night without him, but I was alright, because I have our precious with me! I will be very busy tonight, I guess.

It was another long night for us. I wanted to rest, but Liang was panic and playing up a few times. I fed him, checked nappy, walking him, but still, he was crying. I think he misses daddy. I was too…

There go our first night together. I was trying hard to breastfeed, while Liang was pricked by the heel to check blood sugar.

Not an easy night for the both of us.

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The Waiting Game – III

December 21, 2015 at 12:50 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

13.09.2012

Carlene came in to check on us early in the morning. I told her that I didn’t have any contraction, except those “shrinking” feelings. I started to get worry. Carlene raised it to the doctor on duty. Doctor came to check me and did a VE.

If I wasn’t laying on the bed and still have that bun in the oven, I would have punch her face already. Why? That VE was terrible! She just pushed her fingers in and keeps digging inner and inner. Bloody hell, I was almost in tears! When she finally done that, I saw her glove was covering in blood. She said: “I know it looks scary, but don’t worry, it’s not your blood.”

What? Not mine? Whose blood was running in my body then? I know she got my consent to do it and I know she is doing it for the sake of good, but would you please treat a pregnant mother gentler?

Anyway, after she confirmed that my cervix is still tight, she suggested a second induce. If the Bishop ready still showing no progress, ARM (artificial rupture of membrane) will be done.

Carlene knew that I was in pain after that VE. She comfort me and told me she will handle the induce process after this. Yup, a second dose of prostaglandin gel to apply. This time, I couldn’t walk as good. I was in pain. I wasn’t sure whether it was that VE, or contraction started. Was trying to accompany Jon for a lunch, but I can’t make it. He quickly had a bite of the ginger slice he got and washed down by a tea, then walked to the suite with me.

I was resting on the bed quietly and in pain. Jon was busy reporting to the families.

Carlene came in and told me that the labour suite is ready for me. Jon and Carlene walked me to the suite. Bloody hell, the suite is so big and equipped with every facility that needed. Of course, a baby cot sitting right there, waiting to receive the bub. I have the garden view; it is facing the Hagley Park.

(Friends in Malaysia, FYI, it does look like a luxury labour suite in a private hospital. But it is FOC in NZ!)

Hmm, still no progress after 2 doses of gel. Carlene checked again, and we decided to carry on with ARM, as advised by the doctor. Carlene got me the gown to change, I quickly grab a shower, I might have the baby today! Woohoo!

ARM, to facilitate the labour process. Amnihook will be used to poke the membranes and water will break after this. I’ve seen it on the “One Minute” series, and as Carlene describes, there is not pain at all and I will feel the water breaking. She was right; I can’t even feel it when she poked it. But then, I can feel the water came out. Well, it doesn’t look like what I’ve been told or seen on the tele. My water was mucky with blood in it. I’m sorry if it’s too graphic. But hey, I was in labour, an unforgettable moment of my life.

After ARM was done, Carlene then put me on drip. My veins are quite fine, as told my many nurses that taken my blood, as does Carlene. She tried on my left wrist but failed, blood was drawn. Then my right wrist; there you go, I am always on the “right”. Dinner was served after this. Hmm, crispy chicken fillet with passion fruit as dessert! I had most of it, because I know I will need a lot of energy to push my baby out in a moment, I thought. Jon only had a pie. He told me he actually felt more tired than hungry that time. Aww…

Drip started after dinner, around 6:30 p.m.. I started to feel something, the contraction. The shrinking was worsening as clock ticks. Tick tock tick tock… My breaths getting heavier, Carlene show me the breathing technique. She is monitoring the CTG as well as my blood pressure. Epidural will be injected once the blood pressure risen, after discussed with us. Yes, I was not on Epidural, I tried not to, unless blood pressure continue to rise.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Contraction was kicking in, much more intense each time. I tried to relax, to distract myself, but the pain was pulling me to face it. Each time the contraction kicks in; I would want to give up. I know that I need a strong faith to stay in the game. I looked at the cot and imagine the moment when my baby comes out. I imagine that I am dressing the baby and the baby smiles. I need to relax.

This battle runs on a few hour, my cervix dilation was pretty slow. Midwives come and go. Not sure how many VE has been done. The pain is getting more intense, I need a break! Epidural! I was looking at Jon for better advice. Carlene was about to get the Epidural ready, but I was hesitated again. Checking blood pressure with Carlene, it stays on a stable line. I can do it without Epidural. Furthermore, I could be delivering the baby minute after this! Once again, I denied on Epidural, but was on laughing gas.

When I first try on the gas, I almost puke. Carlene showed me and guided me slowly. I mastered the gas by then. I was heavily depended on it! I remember Carlene told me that the midwives were still talking about it after my delivery. Opps…

Still breathing in and out, only this time with the gas. Nah, it didn’t take the pain away, but it distracted me and makes me on high! Lol… I was able to talk, to joke and to walk around, during contraction. I even took a few catnaps while waiting for the dilation. I remember a few intense contractions during my nap, but I was too tired to open my eyes to response. I just breathe through with the gas.

Yes, it takes years for my cervix to dilate. Around 3 o’clock in the midnight, Carlene was worrying as I had 4 intense contractions within 5 minutes. She went for advice from a very experience midwife. She came and has a look and talk to me. Hmm, apparently I shouldn’t had my membranes poke, it was done too early, that’s why I have to suffer all the pain so long.

What? But it was advice by the doctor!! I seriously think that she might not like me. Otherwise I would have been in more comfortable situation now! Argh!!!

The experience midwife asked my permission to do a VE, there she touched Liang’s little head. She told me that baby is down and is ready to come out anytime. Just hang in there dear. Yes, I’ve been hanging in there since yesterday… Lol… Good news was, cervix has dilated 5 cm! Woohoo! You know what I mean and how I feel? The most difficult first 5 cm!! Yay!!

I regained my energy there. Then, wait again. Pain… Sleep… Breathe in and out… Staring at Jon angrily… Going to the loo… Asking midwife silly questions… Actually I can’t remember what I was asking, but Jon said I was in high and keep smiling and joking. That gas really does something eh!

The Waiting Game – II

December 18, 2015 at 7:40 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

12.09.12

Waking up early in the morning, or should I say we didn’t sleep?

After breakfast, Jon checked the bag while I was in the shower. Something about my traditional customs, a new mother has to avoid touching cold water, that including taking shower and washing hair. Therefore, I have to make sure I am clean and refreshing before giving birth.

Soon, Lindy arrives. Gave Aunty Margaret a big hug and got her blessing. Hospital, here we go. Although it is only a 10 minutes journey, somehow I wish there is something to delay us. I was so damn nervous!

Can’t blame me, because this is my first time of having a baby and I am in a foreign land. Luckily language is not a barrier here; otherwise I don’t think I could have done it.

Check-in with the front-desk and we were directed to the assessment room. Midwife Rachel came in to introduce herself and explained the procedure of the inducement. First of all, she has to get Bishop reading, to see how far does my cervix dilated? Well, VE (virginal examination) was done and I didn’t feel the pain! Wow, she was good, but the reading is not, only 2.5 cm of dilation.

Therefore, carry on to the inducing. She will be using prostaglandin gel. This gel is using to relax the cervix and help in dilation. However, it will be done through VE, apply on the cervix wall. There, another waiting game, an hour I have to wait on the bed.

A third year medical student came in and asked if it’s ok for her to talk to us? She asked a series of questions, and I didn’t mind to share if it is useful to her study. In fact, I love to share my story.

An hour passed by, Rachel came in to take the CTG reading and to check my condition. Everything seems moving slow. By then, I have been transferred to the Recovery Suite, on the same floor.

Jon and I walked to the cafeteria for a bite after settling in the recovery suite. My tummy was getting tighter as I walk. No pain, not contraction, just the muscle around tummy was shrinking. No, I did not have the appetite to eat, only had a cuppa down. Then we were heading back to the suite, our little crib of the night.

I was tired and rest on the bed, while Jon was so busy receiving calls from the North Island, my father-in-law wanted to check if everything alright? As well, my sister was sending text to get updates.

CTG was going non-stop, to track any trace of contraction. I felt something, but not contraction; it was something that I couldn’t explain by words. It was more like muscle shrinking, an annoying feeling. No contraction, no water breaks. It makes me nervous, but not so, because I was so scared to go into labour. I have been watching the series of “One born every minute”, I can imagine the pain, but I can’t imagine I’m doing that.

Clock ticks, still no sign. As it getting dark, I heard a lot of sounds. Sounds of mother in pain; mother was trying to push, screaming “I can’t do it!”… All these ended with a beautiful angel singing, baby cries. Jon and I looked at each other; we are so ready to do it! I keep telling Liang, mummy is ready, don’t panic, just kick me, and just squeeze out! But, still nothing. Oh, I had a fever at night too! After taking pil, I was so drowsy and I think I fell asleep. Jon was still trying to settle in the lazy boy.

A long waiting night.

The Waiting Game – I

December 15, 2015 at 4:21 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

10.09.2012

It was my last ultrasound scanning, the 38th week. It was not a planned one, due to the showing signs of pre-eclampsia.

Same procedure, draw blood for testing and waited in the waiting area for my scanning. Winter was at the end and spring was coming. The bus driver shouted flattery that she saw the first bloomed! Soon, we’ll be welcoming our first bloom too!

At the ultrasound waiting area, Jon and I found a place to sit. I was nervous, just like every other time. I get to see my little precious again! There, my name was called and was welcomed by a lady with a lovely smile, Jon was tagging behind me.

Just like any other time, the sonographer will confirm my detail before it begins. First thing to see and hear, a strong heartbeat, every time. Liang was holding his arms on the chest and crossing his feet. Gees, not much room to move!

Measurement was taken, heart was checked; the wee 4 chambers seems working perfectly. The wee pair of kidneys is in function, oh look, Liang was swallowing! Hmm, can’t seem to have a good look at the face, as Liang was then in the “3/5” position. However, the sonographer was trying to get the best shoot of him by pushing in to my tummy. Ouch, I’m ok, I’m ok, just a bit hurting… But I’m ok.

A blurry picture of Liang was taken, only get to see his puffy cheeks and mouth. Lol…

A pleasant day we had. Jon walked with me to the bus stand, hand in hand. We were planning on a good lunch! Hmm, Little Saigon?

 

11.9.2012

After the last ultrasound scanning, we went to our midwife for the result and advice. It didn’t seem to be on our favourite as I was suspected with pre-eclampsia. On the lucky side, it was my 38th week of pregnancy. We were advised to admit to the hospital for the final checking.

Jon, my beloved husband and my support person, has been talking to me all the way. He knew that I was nervous and worried; he knew his voice would have calmed me. I was trying so hard to squeeze a smile to repay his effort.

Third floor of the Christchurch Women’s Hospital, same bed last time, similar feeling. But a little bit more nervous this time, because I was afraid that they might cut me open and take Liang out. Same procedure, CTG on my big belly, drawn blood for testing and rest on the bed as the CTG goes.

Kept telling myself to be cool, to calm down, everything will be alright. Liang was happily kicking and stretching, nothing seems to bother him. My mood changes when I saw the new mother on the opposite bed, yes, through the curtain. She seems a bit weak and in pain, and something dripped on the floor. My hand and feet gone cold immediately, Jon noticed but didn’t stop comforting me but it wasn’t working that time, until the baby cried. The most beautiful sound I have heard, it was like an angel singing. Yes, it eased away my worrisome.

Another hour has passed; my awesome midwife came back with a news that I will need to be induced. Test result has confirmed that I have pre-eclampsia, also, Liang didn’t seem growing. Luckily, I was in full term, there shall be no complication. However, the earlier the baby comes out the better.

None of us were hoping on the other side of the story, therefore, Jon and I agreed immediately as we only wanted our wee one safe and sound. Induction was scheduled the next day, the 12th.

After a few hours in the hospital, we were discharged. Go home, get rest, get ready for the next big day.

Everything seems to be normal, cooking dinner, watching tele, talking to my parents. As the night has come, both Jon and I couldn’t be asleep. I kept looking at the cot beside us. The cot is sitting there waiting to receive Liang. Can’t seem to calm my mind, but keep imagining how will tomorrow be? Will we have Liang cuddling in our arms or will we still be waiting?

Clock was ticking on the wall as I was caressing my big belly and talking to Liang. I like it when he does stretching, rolling and kicking in there, not forgetting the hiccups he had. It was the most wonderful feeling I had have.

A sleepless night.

Crazy Collection – Shell Lego

December 14, 2015 at 10:27 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I didn’t start this collection, but our son Liang, he was crazy over Lego bricks in the past months. My dear brother-in-law, a collector, granted his wish by giving him a Shell Lego collectible model to start off.

Yesterday was the last item released, a Shell tank. It is a limited edition. Received a message from Yin, saying that the tank is running out very fast, it has sold out in a few stations nearby her place.

I quickly get up and get out of the door to try my luck. 2 gas stations I have been, but no luck. Thought of bringing it home so Liang could have wake up with a big smile. But no luck.

Got Jon and the children ready, we are heading out to other places. That was around 8:30 in a lovely Sunday morning. I remember there are at least 2 Shell stations on the way to work. There we go!

First stop, MRR2 heading to Ampang. Wow, every pump at that garage were taken up! So I went to the cashier to check whether they still have stock? Yes! Immediately found a spot to fill up the tank, RM40, to purchase 1 Lego at RM9.90.

Liang was so happy to have that tank in his hand and kept asking daddy to build it!

Well, still another half tank that could be filled up, might as well try another garage that I usually went to on the way to office. To me, that garage is quiet during weekends. And I was right. Got the tank filled up again, and got another Lego tank to be given to my brother-in-law.

There you go our Sunday morning!

Shell Tank

Sick Day

December 10, 2015 at 3:24 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Have been sick for a few days now. Fever, sore throat and joints, runny nose…

Since I am a breastfeeding  mother, there is no other prescription than paracetamol.  After taking it 2 days in a row, well, it does help, but not cured. I’m still suffering from fever and sore throat.

Although the doctor said it is safe to take paracetamol while breastfeeding, sometimes I just wonder should I feed Aan? Another time was the pump-ed out, should I just biff it?

Well, I was still feeding Aan and the pump-ed milk were stored in the freezer. Been watching her after feed, she seems alright. Hmm, a bit hyper. She was, and still, reluctant to be put in her cot in the afternoon. Jon has to carry her here and there and coaxing her to sleep.

What a smart daddy’s girl. Hahaha

Pregnant in New Zealand

December 3, 2015 at 11:42 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I left my home country for 28 years to be with a man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with on March 2011. We tide our knot on May the same year. Jon was in his last semester of his Bachelor Degree in Fine Arts.

I’ve tried my heart out to look for a job. Attended a few interviews but ended with nothing. Therefore, I decided to be a housewife. Cooking, cleaning, you name it. It is never been easy but I have so much time to be spared, why not?

Until one day, we thought about children.  I was so much wanted to have a baby of our own. But my menses came on time every month, it brought me tears every time. However, Jon told me there is no right timing for a child to arrive, it will come when it comes.

Thereafter, we were busy to plan for my home-coming trip, and our departure day was the day my menses supposed to come. I still remember when we had the transit in Christchurch airport, we felt an after shocked in the waiting lounge. I thought I felt something then rushed to the loo. Hmm, there was nothing. I still put a pad anyhow, in case my “best friend” came while I was boarding.

A very excited moment when we touched down in Kuala Lumpur, HOT! We started our long holidays then! Still, the pad was clean. I was happy and thought it might be the time! But then, I tried to calm myself before anything is confirmed. My sister and I were in the pharmacy to buy Jon some medicine for sore throat. I told her that my menses was late, should I buy a pregnancy test to check? She urged me to do so, we were excited.

For best result, test it on the first pee in the morning. I have to wait for the next day then. The night seems so long for us… Can’t wait to pee!

Ta-daa~~~ I got a 2 lines!! TWO lines!! I was like, oh my God, is it true? Jon was jumping up and down and I have to calm him as well as warned him not to break anything!! To confirm the test, my sister drove me down to our family doctor. Yes, I was 6-weeks pregnant! Jon can’t wait to call the family in New Zealand! Thank God for the blessing.

For the first trimester, I did not have terrible morning sickness. I still remember that I was craving for sour food only. Lemon was my first choice, I was eating lemon like orange. Hmm, crazy eh?

As soon as we got back to New Zealand, we registered to the nearest midwifery. Our midwife was Carlene, a beautiful lady from the UK. Carlene is very professional and friendly. She is like my first friend in Christchurch.

Antenatal check ups are almost the same in any nation, I guess. Me and my elder sister were both pregnant at the same period, our EDD were just a week apart. She was doing her antenatal check-up in Malaysia, while I was in New Zealand. She opted private practice due to her working schedule that unable to match for government’s. While I was with the midwifery throughout.

One thing that I noticed with these 2 nations’ antenatal practice, knowledge and information. Carlene told me a lot of information about what to expect and how it happens. While, according to my sister, her doctor did not talk much during the checking. Well, he is an experienced doctor so they didn’t doubt him much.

For example, the NT scan (Nuchal Scan) between the 11th and 14th week, they call it “Detailed scan” back home, was an extra scan that required extra charges. The doctor didn’t offer to check the ovaries during scan, while the sonographer in NZ, will check it every time during scan. The sonographer showed us everything that we needed to know, such as the heart chambers, kidney, tummy, fingers, toes, etc… For my second pregnancy in Malaysia, the doctor didn’t show and tell that much. The very common feedback was: “Well, baby all good, no problem.”

I wasn’t expect you to strike a conversation with me, but at least tell me more? Something that I should know? Like, the 4 chambers are working fine, kidney started to function, most importantly, ovaries are in good condition. (I’ll share more later… next blog? or next next blog? Lol…)

Second trimester, I got a job! Woohoo! Something big to celebrate!! After a year of unemployment, I was so eager to get back to work!

I woke up early in the morning to prepare a very good breakfast for myself to bring to work. Usually a muesli with fruit yogurt. Yum, Kapiti yogurt is just perfect for my taste! Sometimes a steamed egg with anchovies, variety of sandwich. Breakfast always come with a nice cuppa; weak English Breakfast or hot chocolate. Lunchtime, the leftover dinner was yummy! Aunty’s specialty frittata was one of the best! Otherwise, my home-cooked luncheon meat with rice, or any toasties. Cheese always good. Dinner will be the typical fish & chips, 1/2 scoop for me please! Jon’s special mac and cheese or bolognese.  Argh, I missed all these! Occasionally we have roasties, either vegetable or meat.

I experienced the very first snow of my life during the 5th month of pregnancy. It was heavy snowing in Christchurch, traffic was cut down due to the fall! Jon didn’t allow me to hangout for too long and definitely, no snow angel for me. Duh… All I had to do was, keeping warm and stayed inside while it was all white outside the window. However, it is not romantic at all afterwards. The streets were all wet and slippery! I had to hold Jon’s hand very tight when walking.

The last trimester, well, I kept the same diet, but started to nest. Busy moving the bedroom, checking the list, doing baby’s laundry… Still, we managed to sneak out for a walk down the botanic garden for fresh air. I loved walking in Christchurch, 30 minutes of walking seems like a blink of an eye, didn’t feel tired at all!

Last term of my pregnancy, I was strike by homesick. Although we keep video calling every weekends, but I missed my home, my family and my pets so so much! A very emotional moment. Luckily Jon was there to support me, to cheer me up, to talk to me.

Last term of my pregnancy, we will have to decide the support person, pain killer, who will cut the cord and placenta disposal. Jon definitely my support person and he will cut the cord. I was opt for laughing gas, if possible. Lastly, we will let the hospital to dispose our placenta.

I started my maternity leaves on the last day of August 2012. For there on, the “waiting-game” is officially switched on!

 

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